I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
