speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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