I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
