He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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