I'm going to jail i love you
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
