Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
