Can i not drive my cunt home
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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