The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I got inside last night via doggy door
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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