Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
