i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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