Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Your dad touched me again.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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