other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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