So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
