So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
