Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
