Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
now i know why i became what i already was.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Randomize
