I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
