Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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