If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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