she looked like the bat from fern gully.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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