i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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