p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
