Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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