Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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