If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
