the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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