id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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