so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
