I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
