Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
