every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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