i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
