My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
