her vagine was all disorganized.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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