I showed him my bush... on skype.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
