I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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