Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
vagina is talking i cant
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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