Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
