and you said cock pushups were impossible
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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