He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
