Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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