win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
