i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
