A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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