Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
