he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize