i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
