girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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