Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
