when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
