do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I am one with the molecules
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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