he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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