I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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