Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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