when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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