this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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