Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize