dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
