I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
