I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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