so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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