Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
